the recent story of kit
friday, march 20th 2026, 8:33pm
hi whoever is reading this— i’ll try and keep this brief but i wanted to share a
little about who i am and where i am in life right now to hopefully give some context behind why
ive made this site/blog and a hint into what kind of musings you can expect in the future.
the last few years of my life, after finishing high school (oh boy that was actually almost 5
years ago), i’ve started and dropped out of about four different certificate/diploma courses
(did complete one, though). the one thing that has been consistent was my art & craft business.
it evolved with my interests and style, but it’s pmainly been beaded trinkets like keychains and
earrings as well as badges and stickers of my art. it’s been the thing i had motivation for,
always had ideas for, always had energy for.
all these years, i knew i had no intention of trying to make my business my full time job. to
make enough money to live on, id have to scale up. I didn’t want to outsource production or
things like that, that’s what made it rewarding to me, working on the process start to finish.
what did i want my full time job to be? i wasn’t sure, and i’m still not sure (i don’t think i’m
capable of doing anything 40 hours a week honestly). i had it in my head i could do my business
half the time, and half the time do graphic design, which was the bachelor’s course i was
studying at the time.
long story short, my motivation for uni was dropping as so were my grades. i realised i loved
art, but only on my own terms. i realised working as a graphic designer would really not be for
me, and i dropped out.
it wasn’t until after that that i realised, without having some kind of study in the background
(even if it was something i didn’t care about), i felt like my art business almost had no point.
while i was studying, i felt like i could justify continuing it: the slow but steady pace of
making new products, the hours of work for little income. i felt like because i was
simultaneously studying for my ‘real job’, i could keep having fun with my ‘fake job’ that i
loved, but knew couldn’t fully support me financially.
for the first time in years, i was burnt out from art. i had no ideas or inspiration. sitting
down to make even basic designs felt like a chore, it didn’t inspire me. the thing that i could
always turn to when i was bored only made me feel frustrated and exhausted. the thing that was
my hyperfixation for years, the thing i had sort of unintentionally built my personality around
felt like it was dead.
i’m slowly coming out of that burnout, but i also don’t feel the same passion and motivation for
my business and selling my art as i did before. i’m trying to learn how to make art for art’s
sake instead of as a product to be sold.
but i still have the bigger question(s) to face: what do i want to do with my life? how do i
support myself? what job can i do that isn’t going to physically and mentally burn me out? is
there a job out there that i can work towards that will fulfil me? what fulfils me? what do i
want in life?
i *want* a job that makes me fulfilled and inspires me, a job that challenges me and allows me
to learn and develop myself. I don’t want to just scrape by in life. but man, i’m way too
autistic for the hustle culture, the networking, and the ‘fast-paced’ environments we’ve been
told lead to success.
so… i guess that’s where i am? recovering from burnout, taking a step back from my business,
figuring out what i’m supposed to do now in this hellish job market where entry-level is dead
and retail sucks my soul out of my body.
it’s made me think a lot about who i am, what my strengths are, what my values are. and i’ve
been trying to research a lot about what jobs are out there and how to get there, but i feel
like there’s no easy answer.
if you read all this, i’m impressed, and thank you. this is just scratching the surface of the
amount of yap i’ve got in me, so look forward to more lolol~
i’ve been a hermit for a while, leaving the house for just my supermarket job, and even a bit of
a hermit online too for the last few months. all my social interactions online were with other
artists, on my business instagram page, and it all felt too overwhelming. and i’m really missing
feeling connected to people. all that’s to say, if any of this resonated with you, or gave you
any thoughts at all, i’d love to hear from you (if i figured out how to do comments on this site
lolol)
until next yap session,
kit.